Naturalist

by From The Makers Of

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about

Naturalist is a reflection. it is a question and an observation. It is a conceptual perception of modern humanity and the world around us. It is a record about growth and change. About our place in the world and how we react and cope. Naturalist is a record about life.

This record is dedicated to my mother, Alisa Finch, my father, Dennis Magnell, my brothers, Robert Page, and Kevin McDonough, my sister, Nicole Page, my cousin, Ryan Finch, and my love, Jacqueline Andrade.

credits

released December 7, 2016

Naturalist was written between Nov 2014 - May 2015 recorded from May 2015 - Jan 2016 at Bridge East Studios in East Bridgewater, MA

Personnel

From The Makers Of is

Matt Magnell - Vocals/Guitar
Alec Doyle - Drums/Vocals
Mac Jackson - Bass/Vocals
Billy Silvers - Lead Guitar

Recorded on Naturalist
Matt Magnell - Vocals/Guitar/Lead Guitar/Bass
Alec Doyle - Drums/Vocals
Mac Jackson - Bass/Vocals
Billy Silvers - Lead Guitar

Zack St. Paul - Vocals on tracks 1, 12
Brayden Ellis - Vocals on tracks 4, 12
Eric Canto - Vocals on tracks 6, 12
Mason Hopkins - Vocals on tracks 9, 12
Tom Cifello - Vocals on tracks 9, 12
Haley Van Zuylen - Violin on track 11
Michaela Bottino - Vocals on track 11, 12
John Syders - Vocals, lyrics on bonus track "An Atmospherium"
Justin McLaughlin - Vocals on bonus track "The City on the Edge of Forever"


Produced by From The Makers Of and John Dello Iacono
Engineered/Mixed/Mastered by John Dello Iacono

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all rights reserved

about

From The Makers Of

We're From The Makers Of. We're a Progressive/Experimental/Hardcore quartet from Buzzard's Bay, MA. We aim to push our genre to new heights and do something different.

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Track Name: Into the Void
and I am trying to find,

the simplicity in the complexity
 between the lines


in the fine print, 
are you finding it? 
all your memories of the past and all your hopes of the future that your mind broadcasts 



cause all along we’ve been this way

I’m trying to find if it will always stay the same,

and remain unchanged.



I feel it too


but there's just nothing we can do
Track Name: Weird Bully
Poverty will always bother me

It’s not a bother to you,

cause you can’t see our hands are tied behind our backs
,
my generations’ head is in a noose
 and you’re cutting off the slack.



When will our dues be paid?

I’m so fucking sick of 
seeing kids my age
only worried about getting fucked up 
and laid

My hands are frostbitten
and 
frozen through my skin to bone 

from snow storm Stoppie cart pushing 

to loading Plymouth FedEx vans alone
Always running late, never on time working 3am till 8.

Six or seven days, no time for anything.
All that I wanted then was just a full night of sleep.

When will our dues be paid?

I’m so fucking sick of 
seeing kids my age

only worried about getting fucked up 
and laid

when some of us are struggling
and can't get buy on more than 40 hrs
on this minimum wage

Poverty will always bother me

It’s not a bother to you,

cause you can’t see faces you put below the guillotine, is history repeating?

 


Give me a chance
to do more than just dance
for CEO’s putting bullet holes 
in our feet.

Put me on the road
somewhere out west playing shows 

so I can stop sitting home feeling so alone, wasting away,
feeling defeated from their mistreatment

out here on my own.
Track Name: Old Wounds
Today we say goodbye,

to memories in times river that have been floating past me
I say farewell to my home,
 one my friends will never forget, 

a shelter from life's never ending storm.

The blue house on kingwood st, in Wareham MA.

I can ask any of my friends, they'll know the past,
of just getting passed these last few years.

A spot to chill for a good night's rest, a free meal

I will never forget these times,

even if some memories still haunt me

and Mom, I've always understood just how hard things are,
when you wander through a desert 
and see the springs from afar.

And you wonder, when you can get 
the things that we want or need,
be it a jar of weed, 
or a used car or just the luck of a shooting star.

A chapter is closing and maybe you can thank God,

8 years long, finally the crying, and the sobbing, and the fighting is gone.


But I'll never forget everything you've done, 

for everyone else, especially for the countless friends of 2 sons. 

Never able to repay your hospitality. 

I just hope they all understand what you clawed and struggled through

to make this house a home, 
a reality.
Track Name: Sor4ceress
I watched the colors change from black to white, then back to black.

Rearrange their vibrancy until they were cracked and smashed

It’s human on human violence,
can’t you hear the silence screaming out?

sometimes it’s just so loud 
you can’t hear, or even see, or find it’s meaning 



I’m just high on life, and I'm high on pot.

I’m lost in the thought
, trying to find myself in the faces 

who walk the streets, it’s like they speak to me.

I’ve wondered where they came from

and how far they’ve come and where they’d go .
Do you think their faces showed expression 
when they ran out of luck,
did they give up or get up?

Did they give up or get up?

is that just how you live your life?

are your eyes open, or are they closed?
Track Name: Kunoichi (Dark Ties)
My hearts hung on the wall 
nailed up with my past self,

the ones I mentioned I propped up 
next to the TV
and on the back shelf 

next to all our Doctor Who posters

the half empty cups we left on the table
with no coasters, the ones I just forgot to wash
as I watched and stared 
at a blank TV on a blow up chair,
exhaled one long sigh into the air and I said so soft,



“I’m just so fucking lost”. 



I’m just too forgiving and that’s a give in.

but you’ve been the one to help me,

brain dead, 
in the land of the living. 



This house we live in
 was made into a home

one that picked me off of my feet 
and reconnected every severed limb
,
reconstructed every cracked, and damaged bone.



Time and relative dimension in space

set the date and we’ll be gone without a trace

I’ll go anywhere, just to be alone with the smile on your face.

and I know that you love me it must be difficult to see
that you sheered off all the leaves
 and cut the branches from the trees
and 
left them cold and bare and I know that you’re scared 

because you know I felt like 
I was there to stare

 and

and watch as your lips locked in pairs

like I watched it from afar

maybe in another person’s car, in the passengers seat

he leaned over and fashioned your defeat

and you accepted his advances 

I can’t play this in my head, so I retreat

how’d could you risk us and this all 
and chance this?



The girls at the drive thru of DQ

and Dunkies they always seem to be smiling at me
And I know how you hate it. and they could be beautiful

but when I smile back they’re just faceless,
and 
it’s tasteless,
so let’s just erase this from our life and face this 



let’s accept what has happened,
let’s not may be distracted by attractions

when there was no passion, just a meaningless action.


So now I’ll hold my breath and count to three

when I’m done I’m singing Allon-sy! 

and it’s just fantastic, and so were you and I.

I don’t want to go, I just can’t say goodbye.
and I’ll never forget falling on you at the Lions Lions show

Jumping off the meeting house stage

shouting “Geronimo!”

and I won’t forget this, no, not one line,
and I’m asking again

will you be mine, through all of space and time?

Track Name: Distorted
So here I am again

with a backpack 
and two trash bags in my hands.

Deemed myself, or so it seems

subjected as subordinated,

a transparent image 
of a man.
For now, 
I am walking out.
Walking past the spout
 of distorted fabrications that just

trickle down your mouth 



When I give up the ghost.

Would you be by my side
 with guilt on your face

and tears caught in your eyes
?
whisper to yourself

“tonight is the night that I take my own life”.



So here I am, again.

Asking myself about my fears and my doubts.

Will they stoke the flame?

Or extinguish my exhilaration
 in an attempt to put me out.



You think these are just stories.

You think they’re just games and

life to you is just a picture on the wall
 hung between
cracked glass
 and a dull and rotted frame.



When I give up the ghost, will you be by my side

with guilt on your face 
and tears caught in your eyes?

With one last glance 
you can peer through the window
through the mist
 and all you can see 
is your last chance

and that it’s been missed.



Life is just a game and we’re not having any fun.

If life is just a game, 
then you speak up and you tell me

who it is that’s won?
Track Name: Majora
There are kids that I’ve know since 12,

and I’m 20 now,

that still haven’t done anything to better themselves


It might be funny to you, but I’m just not laughing.

I’ve spent the last 8 years changing over constant
mistakes and regrettable actions 
that have led to

to passing attractions, no money reactions.

Just focusing all my time
and energy 
on consistent constant passions



I’m beginning to accept these trends

that to tend to bend my mind 
and linger on

from time to time.

Resistance of existence is futile

and persistence, it's mutually wild

so I guess you have to sit and wait, 
cause it’s gonna be a while.



When you sat to wait,

time cracked the wall and chipped the paint.

and it dyes the skies, and fracture truth from the lies.

Expose a broken smile that hides behind blue eyes.

I’m invisible, an indivisible individual,

in a world of transparent residual ridicule 

so it’s apparent that I've lost my patience 
and my cool.



I’ve just had this empty feeling in my gut since I was just a kid.

My mother said it was just growing up.

but I’m starting to think that I’m just giving up or giving in.

and I just can't win.


I keep writing down these words, but always leaving them incomplete,
and I’m losing sleep staring at a white page, a blank sheet,

makes me wonder if I really am just admitting defeat.


If growing up is giving in, you keep the youth, I’ll break the trend.
If growing up is giving in, you keep the you and I'll break.
If growing up is giving in I'll break the trend.
Track Name: Overgrown
I can never forget the things I’ve seen

All the regrets that have filled the seams

All the scenes we’ve caused

and broken doors and ripped out screens.

through the late nights of domestic fights 

screaming at each other
 in the black out snow storm candle light,



and Dad, 
I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t love you.

I just wish that you had been there growing up 

and all the bullshit that this family went through.

If you could take all this back would you make it right?

Preventing shouting fights

and days without lights or heat and gas
 no cash to pay the bills

not even milk or even bread and it fucking kills
days spent on an empty stomach

at least I still have my moral compass.

I can never repay you, Rob,

for working the countless hours at dead end jobs

just to keep us afloat 

and I know that it can seem like life’s a joke

when you try to cope with the fact 

the punchline is just a verbal attack

I know you said that you’d never have kids

but I’m hoping someday you’ll give in and that will change.
You’re a man, a provider.

I’m just the younger brother, 

a lost ghost writer.


I could never have done what you had done,

even if the light in my dark was brighter.


You were the one who fought for Kevin and I.
A brother, our true father; something we could never deny.

Kev, you and I we are destined for better things

Some day, we’ll look back and laugh

and we’ll sing 
this song about talks of outer space,

and setting up a Moon base, and getting out past saturns rings
But we just can’t break this pattern in what we find
living below the poverty line 
we’re always working overtime

just for pennies, and nickels and dimes.



and I hope when I have kids of my own

I’ll be a provider
 and a good father and give them a home

with a roof and food on the table 
let them know they’re never alone

even when you and I are unstable,
 unable or disabled.


I will still be able to see them off

on field trips and to Bruin’s games.

their passion in music they 
let the family roots grow unchanged.


I just wish that you would the same.

Dad, I just wish you would do the same.

If it eased the pain, would you take it all back

or leave our lives where
 they were set to be arranged?

at 21, you see me now 

and all I hope is that I’ve made you proud

and that you just accept me for the way I’ve turned out.
Track Name: Bad Wolf
I guess no matter how strong, 
people seem to break like glass.

The future tears the past
 as you drop the present to the ground

you can’t do anything but sit around
 and watch it fall, you let it smash.


You can try to pick up all of the pieces

and try to put them back in their place

but the cracks still remain no matter how they’re arranged.

Did it ever occur to you that it won't ever be the same?

Did it ever occur to you that things won't ever be the same?

Track Name: Stagnant
I've stopped counting the days that I heard the siren's song
always listening to them singing out
did they ever acknowledge the cries for help?

I’ve realized how transient the seasons have remained
and what I've retained; the summers ending in rain,
always the same, a dull heart throbbing pain.

I’ve become so accustomed to falls denial.

I let winter impel my empty smile.
I let it sweep me off my feet
 ignoring all the signs of deceit .
the lies are all stained like coffee rings 
in the passengers seat

of what’s left of our 94 Taraus, 
I still just abhor this. 


My mind was a slippery slope

filled with sleet and snow 

the brain always trying to cope

with the attacks when the heart pulls back

with blind love and lost hope

I just can’t relax.



I’m always misplacing spring. I’ll face my fears and summers sting. 

as I watched them come and go, one thing synonymous with you.

But was it even in reason
 for these hearts to change with the season?

I’m leaving, all this time, it’s been lying dormant
 in the back of my mind. 
It’s unsettling to say this;
that fall haunted me with 
a despotism I hardly miss

but it’s more so than I care to admit.


Fall was there to keep me warm
 through every winter or summer storm 

The nights, they bled into days. but we found a way to stitch the weeks 
to months, but the scars would stay.

It’s been 3 years now and I still don’t know what to say.
I guess I learned that absence, they fade to gray
Track Name: Pink Pistol
I’ve been trying to plaster on this smile 
for the last few weeks.

If you’d leave me be, I’d find away to bolt on all the teeth.


You can color me in with shades of grey 
but if you color outside the lines
 you don’t have to erase it all away. 



I’m tired of standing still 
when we have an expanding 
outstanding skill

it’s a demand, commanding thrill.


But I feel like I’ve lost the will.


Watching others take the lead,

as I’m stopped with no acceleration or top speed.

We’ve tried for so long to reach for the stars

and with attempt they’d leave my hands burned up and scarred 


and I can feel the seasons under my skin

the reason why I am wearing thin

cause from the outside looking in
 you can probably see a grin
etched right above the chin


I can never tell if the sun
is smiling or weeping 
or if and why he’d be sleeping.

Tell me why it melts the snow?

and I’ve felt his glow

it’s not warm enough to keep my 
hands and nose from feeling numb


is this really all there is,
from the sum of 
who I am,
to who I will become?



and for far too long I ran away from fate.

cutting corners out of every book

so all you can see is a broken spine 

and a tattered cover 

battered and bruised up and stained

But don’t throw it away. Don’t toss me aside

cause no matter how much you crumble the page

these words will always stay the same

Track Name: Naturalist
I just sit and watch, I listen and observe

It’s something I’ve always done 

Placing my thoughts somewhere unheard

except in the minds of the people who’s heads, they’re already overrun


my thoughts remain 
preserved and undisturbed
but do I deserve the nerves?
As if this was anything but a change of pace

This place has always remained the same

while I witnessed everyone waiting for the scenery to change.

And I guess I’ve just been that kid all along. 

and that was the only place that I’ve ever called home.


It was the only place that I've known, the soil where I was grown.
I come back and walk down familiar streets

see unfamiliar faces pass me by without a second glance

without a greet and no repeat, 

I don’t think their apathetic stance is just by chance.

I’ve seen that look in your eye

the same one I see in the expressions 
of people 
just passing me by

I try to remember if this is how it’s always been.


Is this how it's always been?

it’s a furtive glance and nothing more.

It’s like they can’t have rain unless it pours.

I see the emptiness calling out

like a ghost that with no voice 
trying to shout.
Mouth to dry to speak

slowly dehydrating from the drought.

and I feel it too.



I’m a naturalist

a marijuana advocate 

and that’s my catalyst

I’m still a graduate, an antagonist

I’m an accident, an absent activist

I can’t stand to hear another word 
or take this shit.



Behind these white walls 
I’m slipping away,
with no phone calls 

or anyone to keep my demons and ghosts at bay.

I’m just siting up in bed, lying awake

finding any attempt to supplicate that I’m just lost in my head,
and 
that’s just the way it’s always been.


When the sun rises with rays that are divided 
through my window 

and I still see nothing but grizzled skies foggy, and grey. 

and I can hear the wind blow
 from the ground below.

Maybe I’d be excited to see 
if everything at once didn’t get to me.


I just feel it too.

I guess I always have.



You and I, I realized were not so different.

but the unsettling realization is 
what I hate about both of us
is that we’re not resistant 
and I’ve become so distant.
and I know you feel it too


We all look for purpose,
because I guess we think that we deserve it.
But we spend life times working for nickels and dimes

just to find no matter how hard you persist, it just doesn’t exist.



It’s a mistake, it's a fallacy, it’s not even in our reality.

it’s only in our hearts and minds and their expansive duality. 



The whispers speak out in the darkness

it haunts us and you lie awake, your mind unscathed and
everything that you heard, and every word
 you tattooed
with the scars of the past

you wear a synthetic smile like you were miscast


You just can’t speak up about anything you’ve been through

I guess when it comes down to it
 I just don’t envy you.



And all along it’s been this way

and I think it will always stay the same 
and remain unchanged.


But I’m forced to hear the silence in human vice, poverty, and violence 

read between the lines, in the fine print, see simplicity in complexity
But I’m just not finding it.



and I'm just not finding it, and I guess I just feel it too.

But there is just nothing we can do.